A Flaw in the Code
by justlaughitoff
Summary: Jane learned a lot about her past during her first meeting with Shepard, but it takes an unexpected turn when she's introduced to the daughter she left behind for the mission. Just then can Jane begin to understand how utterly broken she's been.
1. Chapter 1

"Oscar is dead. Cade got him before he got to you," stated Shepard, to which Jane simply nodded trying to erase memory of that moment, like so much of hers had been erased before. "But Roman has been moving heaven and earth since you disappeared trying to track down Cade," she continued. "I promise you that he will pay for what he did… And Remi, I know this has been a lot for one day, a lot of information, but it's not all. There's still one more thing I need to show you."

Jane looked over at Roman who gave her a half smile, hands in his pockets, shrugging his shoulders. She was already overwhelmed, she wasn't sure how much more she could take, but curious, Jane watched as Shepard walked back to the car. What else could possibly be swung at her? What more? Was this what "Phase II" was all about? Jane managed to hold back a gasp as she watched Shepard emerge from the car, a little girl in her arms, still half asleep. Walking up to her, Shepard introduced her, "Remi, this is Evie," she said, gently tickling the girl's stomach, to wake her up.

So Phase II was a girl, a child. Jane didn't like where this was going, didn't like the ball of muck forming in her throat. What was happening? She wasn't even sure she wanted to know anymore. The small child, who couldn't be more than four, slowly rubbed her eyes, blinking a few times as she cocked her head in Jane's direction and asked, confused, "Mama?"

Jane hadn't thought that she could hate herself more than she had until that moment, that moment in which the single two-syllable word had echoed deep into her soul. Because it was during that singular moment in which she remembered who she was, who she had been. It was in that moment in which she realised just how much she hated that woman.

 _It was a younger version of Evelyne who called out, "Mama byebye," her small fists opening and closing in her direction, as Oscar had walked away with their daughter in his arms. And she had simply stood there, watching them go, seemingly unmoved, like this wasn't goodbye. Like she wasn't leaving. Like she wasn't erasing them._

 _"Why does it have to be you?" Oscar had asked her before she'd left, "What if you don't come back? What happens then?"_

Her heart clenched in her chest, making it difficult to breath. It hurt that she had left, but it hurt even more that she hadn't remembered. Jane didn't understand much, didn't remember much, but she understood that. She had completely erased her until know.

Jane looked at the girl, her breaths in shallow intakes as she tried to contain herself. This was too much, simply too much. She couldn't do it anymore. She was so tired, so tired of fighting. She couldn't do it anymore, but when the girl in the yellow pyjamas extended her arms towards her, Jane immediately, without questioning a thing, caught onto her, bringing Evelyne close to her chest. Like she hadn't just been shot, like she hadn't just been stitched up by her brother, like she hadn't just received a blood transfusion in the car ride over here. At that moment, none of it mattered. She couldn't feel a thing apart from the pounding of her beating heart.

Just like she had known how to fight, known how to shoot, how to speak Chinese, she knew how to do this. The small, warm hands wrapped around her neck as Jane tightened her grip. She couldn't control the flow of tears running down her face, leaving a distinct wet mark on back of the child's top, as everything finally caught up to her. Everyone was gone. Oscar was dead. Mayfair was dead. Her whole team hated her. Weller despised her. She had planned for this; she had wanted this. She had left her brother, her mother, her fiancé. She had erased her family, abandoned her daughter. How could she possibly fix all of this? How could she possibly make this right?

She was so tired.

As if this wasn't enough, as if she hadn't already been given enough, there still remained so many unanswered questions, still so many unknowns. She was still in the dark. But they didn't matter anymore, nothing mattered anymore, she just wanted to stay like this forever, in this embrace and never let go. She didn't care anymore. Without giving it a second thought, Jane turned around and walked away. She distanced herself under Shepard's watchful eye, the woman's hand resting on Roman's shoulder urging him to stay by her side, to leave Jane to reconnect with the child she had given life to, the child she had just reconnected with.

Jane couldn't say how long she'd been sitting on the curb, in this close embrace, but her eyes had now dried out. She was reconnecting with the feeling of the small, warm body close to hers, a feeling that felt so familiar, and at the same time so foreign. Jane couldn't say how long she would have stayed like that, if it hadn't been for the fingers trailing the features on her face, the bruise on her cheek, if it hadn't been for the fingers tracing the tattoo on her neck. She forced a hopeful smiled as she looked at Evie, her green eyes a mirror to her own, and the child stated, with more sorrow than should be allowed for a four year old, "I missed you, mama."

And just like that, Jane broke into a million pieces, stuck between the person she was, between what she'd done, and the person she wanted to be, that she was going to be. Jane bit her lip as her eyes threatened to overflow again. Taking a deep breath in, she managed to force a smile, and to utter out, "I've been gone a long time haven't I?"

Evie nodded looking down at her hands, her fingers playing with each other, distracting.

Jane cuddled her closer still, whispering in her daughter's ear, "I missed you more than anything, but I'm here now, okay?" She looked up in Shepard and Roman's direction, as she added still in a hushed whisper, only for her daughter to hear, "And I'm not going anywhere."

"I missed you," added Evie in a muffled cry as she buried her face in her mother's shirt.

"I'm sorry Evie, I'm so sorry you have me as a mother," whispered Jane as she rocked her daughter in her arms. "I'm sorry," she whispered, rocking her daughter back towards sleep. And she was, she couldn't possibly begin to explain how sorry she was.

It was with a sleeping child in her arms that Jane, walked back up to Roman and Shepard, both of them now leaning over the hood of the car, waiting.

"You must have a lot of questions," Shepard told her.

But she didn't, not really. Only one.

She had been given so many answers today. She had woken up not knowing who she was, her own name, now she had been given two. She had woken up alone, now she had a family. She had a brother, a mother, a daughter. She was a mother. She had been given so much information today, but what she really wanted to know was why. Why was everything happening to her?

"Why did it have to be me?" she asked, "Why did it have to be this way?"

"It was the only way it was really going to work."

"But why? Why are we doing all of this? What's Orion and Phase II?"

"You'll know everything in time," simply stated Shepard.

"This isn't good enough!" exclaimed Jane.

"It's going to have to be enough," Shepard answered, as she motioned Jane to hand over Evie, "It's almost dawn, I can't be out in the open like this. You need to get back to the FBI."

The FBI. Jane had completely forgotten about the FBI.

"What?" exclaimed Roman.

"Tell them you were kidnapped by Cade, tell them that you escaped. It still might be possible to salvage this op," explained Shepard, taking a step towards the pair.

"What? No. No way," said Jane as she turned her back to the woman who claimed to be her mother, shielding her daughter from her.

"She just came back," exclaimed Roman protectively.

"The mission isn't over yet. We need her over there, at the FBI."

"Do you understand what I've been through, what I've had to endure to get back here. I just got back, I just got my daughter back."

"I really don't think you want to argue on this with me, Remi."

"I'm out. I'm out, okay?" Jane exclaimed. She motioned to the girl and herself, adding, "We're out. I can't do this anymore. I just can't. It was a bad idea! A bad idea, okay? Why did it have to me?"

"Remi, I know this is hard, and I know you don't remember, but you wanted this, you wanted it _like_ this," tried to explain her brother.

"I don't believe you. I can't. I can't leave her again."

"What you need to do is finish what you started. You need to understand that when you aren't with us, you're against us, and I really don't think you want to be against us right now." Shepard motioned to the two men that had patted her down before their meeting to come closer, "This is bigger than you, this is bigger than all of us."

"I'm ag- This is unbelievable," exclaimed Jane. "This can't be happening right now."

"Noooo!" Jane screamed as they took her daughter from her arms, and the girl fell silent, looking over the broad man's shoulder, watching her mother cry out for her, with the distance between them increasing.

"All the pieces are almost into play, you won't have to live this double life much longer," added Shepard.

Falling to her knees, Jane sobbed, "Why are you doing this to me?"

Roman knelt beside his sister, a hand on her back he whispered, "I know you're still in there, you can do this."

"I'm not abandoning her again," Jane added with a sniffle.

"You didn't abandon her, Remi," said Roman calmly, "You left her with her dad. We were there. She didn't miss of anything and she won't miss of anything now. "

Jane shook Roman's hand off her back, "She missed me, Roman! She missed her mother," she exclaimed, angry, at herself, at Shepard, at her brother, at Oscar. Oh how mad she was at Oscar for letting her do this, for not making her stop, not fighting enough so that she didn't let them inject her with that poison. Oh how mad she was at him for making her kill him.

"I just left them," she added more softly, almost resigned.

 _Pain is a dream._ Except this wasn't. This hurt a hell of a lot more than anything else she'd endured at the hands of the CIA.

Shepard added, "You used to understand that the mission was for her-"

"She's my daughter, my own damn flesh and blood."

"You understood that the mission was more important than a few birthdays."

"I don't understand it now."

"But you will. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but eventually, you will."

It was Roman that interjected, "What if she keeps Evie with her?"

"And how do you suppose she explains it when she comes back three months later with a 4 year old daughter?"

"Maybe I just found her," tried Jane.

"Yeah? Just wandering around in the streets close to the headquarters? Come on, we need to stick with the mission. It's almost dawn now, I can't be seen here, I need you to go. Now."

"And how about I don't tell them?" tried Jane, her daughter now completely out of eye-sight, the car door closed.

"How long do you think that will last? You think they won't find out? I trained you better than this."

"She tells them Cade had her," stated Roman. Both brother and sister looked to Shepard, hopeful, and when Shepard didn't turn him down he added, "Kane kidnapped Evie, tried to use her as psychological torture. The sight of Evie is what prompted Remi to escape, to save her daughter."

Shepard nodded, "That just might work."

* * *

It was back at the compound that Roman could finally talk to Shepard. He was angry, furious. "Why did you bring Evie? It was never part of the plan. You knew she'd react that way."

"Yeah. I was counting on it. Trust me, Roman, having her with Evie will pay on the long run. Something is still off with her, I can't shake the feeling, but reuniting them will be good for her."

"But will it be good for Evie?"

"She's still her mother, Roman. Plus, she hates me, but she trusts you now Roman, and this is exactly what I want. She's different than before, I just need you to make sure she understands what side she needs to be on in this. You need to make sure of it."

* * *

 **Okay guys, be gentle. This is my first attempt at Blindspot. I found Jane to be incredibly difficult to write. She's such a badass, but so broken at the same time. I don't know if I managed to dose it, right. I'm still on the fence about where I am taking this right now, so let me know your thoughts!**

 **Also, if anyone is interested, I would really like someone to beta the chapters before I post them. Correcting grammar, story, character development, whatever you feel like really. Anyhow, if anyone's interested, PM me.**

 **Also, thanks for reading, and hope you enjoyed. Blindspot might just be my new obsession.**


	2. Chapter 2

She could never hide from the FBI, hide from the CIA, from Sandstorm. This wasn't fight or flight, she had to fight. She had to hold up her end of the deal, she really had no choice. It had been a very long day, an excruciatingly long day, and it still wasn't over. Jane was grateful for Roman, grateful he had stepped in when she had almost given up. She was grateful that she wasn't alone right now, that she didn't have to live with the fact that she had a daughter she hardly remembered somewhere, alone. She was going to be better. She was grateful she still had the chance to prove she could do better.

Roman had handed her a subway card so they'd find their way back without him, back to the FBI. She still needed to head back there and debrief the team, tell them what she'd learned. It was the last thing she wanted to do at the moment. She didn't need them criticizing her. She didn't need their judgement, their glares, or their snarky remarks. She didn't need them to say anything; she was already beating herself up enough without their input, but it was part of the deal.

What she needed was to get in, get out, and simply get this over with, get this whole ordeal over with. She was going to be better, a better mother, a better operative and a better friend. She could do better.

The subway arrived, the doors opening before them, and they entered, finding seats in the half empty train. Jane sat Evie on the bench, lowering to the child's level she asked, "Evie, how are you?"

"I'm good," the girl stated.

"Tell me if it hurts, okay?" asked Jane as she poked and prodded her small body, looking for possible injuries, for sensible areas. "Stop, it tickles!" the girl squealed, as she twisted and turned on her seat.

Jane was taking no chances. _She_ didn't really know these people. She had already seen what her brother was capable of. She couldn't even begin to imagine what Shepard was capable of. Who knew what these people might have done to her, what she might have done to her when she'd been under their care.

Jane shook her head; she still wasn't sure how she had managed to get here.

When Jane was convinced Evelyne didn't bear any injuries, she let out a sigh, letting her head fall in her hands. She was all right; they were going to be all right. _For now._

Pulling her head back up, Evie's eyes were serious, and the girl asked, concerned, "Does your face hurt?"

"No, I'm all good," added Jane.

Evie poked and prodded her, like she had had done on her small body moments before. Applying pressure on the bruised areas of her mother's face, she asked, "You got in a fight?"

Jane gave her daughter a sad smile, "Yeah, I got in a fight. But I'm alright now. Don't worry."

"You got the bad people, right?"

"Working on it," answered Jane with a wink, but to be completely honest, she really wasn't sure whom the bad people were anymore.

"You're going back?"

"I'm _not_ going back," she stated. _That_ she knew, she was never going back.

Evie nodded, and looked thoughtful. Jane furrowed a brow, "What is it, Evie?"

"You look different, mama," she stated.

"Yeah?" chuckled Jane, looking down at her completely tattooed arms.

Nodding with assertion, Evie added, "Nicer."

"Good," chuckled Jane as she kissed the top of the brunette's head, "Very good."

When the subway slowed down, moments later, and it was their turn to get off, Evelyne jumped from the seat, holding her hand up to her mother, she stated. "I'm okay, I can walk. I didn't get shot."

Jane touched the sensitive area of her abdomen, saw the barely noticeable red specs decorating her shirt. Somehow the girl had known.

* * *

The elevator doors opened and Jane felt her heart sink a few inches lower. This place that once felt like home, now felt like a prison. This place that once homed the closest thing she had to a family, was now filled with people who despised her. She grabbed her daughter's hand as she manoeuvered her way to Weller's office, looking to the floor. She didn't need to see anyone's reaction, but she could feel the glares burning right through her.

She picked the girl up, her visitor's badge dangling from her yellow pyjamas, and knocked at Kurt's door. Through the glass door, she saw him look up from his paperwork and motioned her to come in, his eyes cold and distant, a testimony of how mad he still was.

He furrowed his brow, getting up as he saw them enter. "Jane, what is this?" he asked sharply.

"This is my daughter, Evelyne," answered Jane calmly. She hadn't expected it to feel this way when she would actually verbalise it. It felt good, but strange at the same time, especially here, in the place in which she'd grown into someone so different than who she'd been. And, in her arms stood the proof of how fundamentally different these two beings, who had shared a body, had been. She would never leave.

Kurt's eyes went to the ceiling and he sighed, "Have someone watch her, she can't be with us for this. Nas is waiting in interrogation 2."

Jane took a breath. She just needed to hang on a little bit more, just finish the mission. She just needed to hang on a little bit more and earn her freedom. Then, she could start over. Then, she could do better.

There was no going back to where they used to be. Jane got that, it would never be the same, but it didn't make any of it any less painful. How she wished she could go back and change everything.

She nodded, putting her daughter back on the floor, and stepped out. She saw Patterson at the far end, Tasha and Reade closer by, but she couldn't make herself ask anyone of her former teammates for help. Just like Kurt, they all hated her, and she got that. She was the reason everything was so messed up, that their friend, their former boss was dead. She didn't pull the trigger, but everything was her fault. She got that, and she knew better than to ask anyone of them for help. The pain and anger in their eyes was simply too much to bear at the moment. She couldn't do it.

She looked left and right, unsure of where to ask for help and heard Kurt sigh loudly behind her. She didn't want to need their help.

"Can she just stay in your office?" she tried. Surely the girl could entertain herself for a little while.

"Jamerson!" Kurt called out to the trainee, who came running towards him.

"Yes, sir?" asked the young man, eager to please.

"You're on babysitting duty," Kurt added before walking away towards interrogation.

"I'll be right back," she called out, quickly following Kurt already further down the hallway.

As soon as the automatic doors closed behind them, Kurt ordered her, "Talk"

How far they had fallen. She could hardly recognise him, hardly recognize any of them. She bit the inside of her cheek before trying, collected, "So apparently I'm not only a terrorist. I'm also someone who abandons her kid. Another thing you can add on the "Reasons I hate Jane" list. Not that you need it to be any longer."

"You're telling me this is news to you. That you had _no_ idea about the kid?" responded Kurt.

"I didn't remember. No," simply stated Jane, a little on the defensive.

"We should do a DNA test," he stated indifferently.

"That's not necessary. I remember her," Jane affirmed, "And now I have no idea how I could have just erased her."

"So, we should just take _your_ word for it?"

"Yes, because she is _my_ daughter," added Jane through her teeth.

"We've all been tricked before," he maintained, and pointing his finger at her he added, "You included."

"This isn't a trick, Kurt!" proclaimed Jane angry. It wasn't. She could feel it in her bones, she could feel it with every fiber of her being. It wasn't a trick.

"Enough!" interjected Nas.

"This makes no sense," added Kurt.

"Believe me, I know how messed up this all is Weller. I know, okay? I know. But she's mine, she's my daughter," Jane defended, her fist making contact with the table.

"Why would they tell her now?" bellowed Kurt, before stating, convinced "This is a ploy."

"So what are you going to do, arrest her? She's four, for god's sake. She's just a kid," cried out Jane, a tremble perceivable in her voice.

"I'm not going to arrest her, Jane. Come on!"

"Both of you, sit down. It's been a long day for everyone," ordered Nas with authority. "Jane tell us what happened."

Jane bit at her lower lip, preventing her from adding anything that would add gas to this already lit fire. They both sat down, their eyes filled with contempt and resentment.

There really was no going back.

* * *

Their meeting had ended with Nas affirming she had done well, that it was good. While the Pakistani woman had seemed convinced, Jane wasn't so sure. How could any of this be _good_? She'd lost him, she'd lost them all.

Jane was done for the day. She had been given permission to head back to her quarters, to act as if the past three months hadn't happened, to act like she hadn't been arrested by the FBI and tortured by the CIA, like she hadn't just became the mother of a four year old girl, again.

Maybe now, she could finally sleep.

She was walking back towards Weller's office when she recognised the blond head through in the office window, making her quicken her pace to almost a jog.

Opening the door she quickly apologized, she didn't need someone else to react like Weller had. "Patterson, I'm sorry, Jamerson was supposed to watch her during the meeting. I don't know what happened. I know you must have lots to do, we didn't mean to bother you. We're going." She motioned her daughter, trying to get out of Patterson's hair as quickly as possible, "Come Evie."

Patterson's eyes followed the girl who jumped off the chair and went to her mother, who protectively put her hand on Evelyne's chest, bringing her closer. When the woman's eyes met with Jane's, somber, almost begging, she couldn't help but soften her features. Her lips merged into an encouraging smile, and she took a calming breath as she explained, "It's fine Jane, I had Jamerson fetch me the hard copy of a file from archives."

Jane faked a small smile and nodded, "Thanks."

Patterson's eyes now riveted back on Evie and she continued, lightly, "Evie's been kicking my butt at _Finding Waldo,"_ as she winked at the child.

"Where did you get a _Finding Waldo_?" Jane chuckled, surprised. She could hardly remember the last time she'd actually chuckled. It felt good, almost normal, safe.

"My desk," Patterson replied making Jane break out into a smile. "Don't judge."

"Well, anyways. Thanks for watching her," Jane added, grabbing her daughter's hand to leave.

"Wait, Jane," Patterson called out, making Jane pivot on her heels.

"Do you want to go grab something to eat?" the blond tried.

"Patterson, you don't have to do this."

"Do what?"

"Pretend."

"Jane, I'm not."

"It's fine, I'd probably hate me too to be honest," she said, shrugging her shoulders. Actually, if she really was honest, she'd confess she _did_ hate herself.

"I don't _hate_ you. Maybe you're not everybody's favorite person here at moment. And look okay, yes, I'm mad, and I want to get the…." Patterson paused, looking at Evie before continuing, "… _jerks_ that caused all this to pay, but I believed you when you said you wanted that too."

Jane nodded, and Patterson added, "I still think your intentions weren't bad, just misguided," and without waiting for a reaction from Jane, Patterson knelt down to the child's level, "You're hungry, right, Evie?" she asked.

The girl nods, "Yes, please."

"See? You have to feed the kid," added Patterson, grabbing Evelyne's hand.

Jane nodded, "Fine, we can go eat."

"Great," she said.

"And you…" she added, pointing towards Jane as she passed her on her way to the door, "Will talk."

"For what it's worth Patterson, I'm really sorry."

Patterson smiled and nodded.

"And Patterson?" Jane called.

"Yeah?" she asked, turning around.

"Weller wants a DNA test."

* * *

 **Special thanks to fallfromreality for all her help. She's awesome!**

 **And thank you to everyone who let me know they enjoyed the last chapter, it always warms my heart. ;)**

 **Anyhow, hope you enjoyed this. If you have comments, suggestions or ideas, I'm all ears!**


	3. Chapter 3

_She was unable to move, her feet solidly cemented within this endless hallway and they were getting away. She mustered up all her strength trying to bring one foot in front of the other, grabbing her leg with both hands, but it was no use. Unable to catch up with them, she watched, panting, as Oscar and Evelyne walked away, their backs to her. With a sudden awareness of the dryness of her palate, she tried to scream, so they'd turn around, even for a second, but no sound would come out of her mouth._

 _Only one phrase echoed, "You did this to yourself."_

 _When she could only make out specs of what they used to be, the scenery shifted. Wobbly, she fell to the ground. Oscar was now mere inches from her, crouching beside her, "What if you don't comeback, what happens then?" His hand grabbed hers and he pulled her to her feet. He took a step forward, his fragrance empowering, and his hands extended towards her, settling on her jaw, his warm palms and fingers extended over her cheeks. His brown eyes were now begging, "We can't lose you."_

 _She felt a small hand tug at the bottom of her shirt, a strong smell of iron tainting the air. His hands dropped to his side and his eyes went blank, emotionless. She looked down at the terror stricken eyes of her daughter, burning through her. The girl accused, "You killed him."_

 _The floor beneath her seemed to move, and the distinct push of two small hands against her side made her momentarily loose her balance. She could hear the echo of light footsteps getting further and further away. When she looked up again, his honey brown eyes were bright with pain, "I loved you," he whispered, his hands outstretched towards her, now too far to touch her._

 _As she took a step forward, in need of the touch, craving it, light flashed and he dissolved, ash raining down in his place and the smell of smoke tickled her nose. She stared down at her hands, the warm blood covered her fingers, thick like syrup, as they trembled like a leaf caught in the wind. Distantly his words echoes to her, "You killed me…why?"_

 _Again the scene adjusted, but she couldn't get the feeling of the blood off her hands. She looked up, meeting those honey brown eyes again, looking at her like she made up his entire world, and she felt warmth despite herself, "I love you," he whispered and she tried to say it back, but again the world shifted._

 _His eyes were full of pain now, tears coursing down his face, "Please. Please, don't leave me. Don't leave us."_

Jane woke up with a jolt, panting, her heart pounding.

She had killed him. She had killed the man who loved her.

Closing back her eyes, Jane laid her head back on the headboard behind her.

She didn't think she had managed to get much sleep. She always felt so tired.

She closed back her eyes, sighing.

She wasn't sure she was ever going to sleep again.

She tried to concentrate on her breathing, as Oscar's features remained engraved in her mind. Her fingers unconsciously caressed the tattoo on her neck, the bird that he'd drawn.

She hadn't meant to. She hadn't meant to kill him. She had only wanted it to be all over. She had only wanted to do the right thing.

Yet, she couldn't find a way to forgive herself.

Yet, she couldn't sleep.

Maybe she didn't deserve sleep.

Jane moved a hand over her face, and it found its way through her hair as she shook her head.

She was going to hate her, just like the others.

Turing around in the bed they shared, Jane was faced with her daughter's peaceful features, so calm, still unburdened by all that had happened. She listened to her breaths. They were deep and even, tranquil in her sleeping state. She shouldn't have been involved in all this; a child shouldn't have been involved in this mess that was her life.

She shouldn't have, but there she was, asleep at her side, her child, right where she wanted her to be.

It still felt surreal; it still felt as if she'd close her eyes and she'd disappear, like somehow this wasn't hers, that it shouldn't be hers.

She felt so close and simultaneously so far away. She didn't know her, not really. Everything was instinct, primal, but she still couldn't remember before, her family, or how to came to be, and her heart clenched at the thought that she might never.

She gently traced her finger on the girl's forehead, playing with the hair stuck at her forehead. She repeated it to herself, she had a daughter.

And she was going to hate her. Sooner or later, she was going to hate her.

Everyone did.

Carefully, as to not wake Evie, she got out of the bed. It had been an emotionally draining day for both of them, and she wanted at least one of them to get the sleep they needed.

Jane headed towards the shower, where the hot water caressing her skin acted as a therapist, where the fog and mist acted as a barrier, where, for a short while, she could block everything out.

 _Usually._

Today, what she'd done followed her, wouldn't leave her alone, even within her glass castle. With her back against the dampened wall, Jane let herself gradually fall to the floor. Bringing her knees together and setting her forehead on them, she cried.

She had killed him. She had betrayed them. She had abandoned her daughter.

She had done all that, and more.

She didn't think she could ever forgive herself.

Sobs echoed where no one could hear her, where she could be weak and vulnerable, where she didn't have to fight.

For a while, with her back against the linoleum wall, her bent legs still caught within her arms and her chin settled on her knees, she watched the water drops race across the glass door.

Suddenly she shook her head.

Enough with the self-pity.

With both hands gripping the tile beside her, she gave herself a push upwards.

She was a fighter.

Jane walked across the mostly barren townhouse, the safe house the FBI had _generously_ let her crash in for the time being, and headed to the couch in the small living room she still hadn't made her own. Her hair still dripping, she let herself fall on it.

Everything was so messed up.

She needed a plan. She needed to feel in control again, to feel safe.

She was a mother. She had this kid, in the bedroom, fast asleep, and she needed a plan. She wasn't prepared for this. Less than 24 hours ago, she hadn't even known she existed, and now, she had a child, someone completely dependent on her. Someone who needed her to step up and be there for her, and she had absolutely no idea where to start.

What a difference a day makes.

She needed a plan. If she wanted to do better, it started now.

She was taking control.

First step had to be shopping. The girl couldn't be strolling around New York City in her yellow pyjamas forever; it didn't take a genius to realise that.

Jane then thought of the content of her fridge. She'd been here for less than two days. It consisted of beer, a half empty take-out container of jalapeño poppers and cold pizza, hardly a suitable diet for a kid, hardly a suitable diet for anyone, actually. She decided to add grocery shopping to her list.

It didn't seem quite as daunting like this.

She also made a mental note to ask Patterson for IDs. It's not like she could take Evie to work, and it would be pretty hard to enroll her in anything when neither of them existed.

Jane settled further into the couch. It was a good start.

Shopping, groceries and papers. It didn't seem so daunting now.

She could do this. She wanted to do this, more than anything she wanted to succeed at this. She was going to stop Sandstorm and then she'd start over, with her daughter.

Jane heard the soft footsteps on the hardwood floor and smiled. She could definitely do this.

The silhouette of the four year old girl emerged from the darkness of the hallway, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

"Hey, monkey," Jane smiled, "You sleep, okay?"

The girl nodded, still standing there, frozen, her hands still rubbing her eyes.

"Come," motioned Jane, inviting. Evie slowly walked up to her, unsure of the unfamiliar surroundings. When she got within arm's reach, Jane picked her up and sitting her on her lap, she asked, "What's wrong?"

"When are we going back?" the girl asked.

"Going back where?" asked Jane, surprised.

"Base," she stated simply with a shrug of her shoulders.

Jane exhaled through her nose, and bit at the interior of her lower lip. Shaking her head, she informed her, "We're not going back, Evie."

Evie's eyes narrowed and she furrowed her brow, "But why?"

"I have a new mission," she explained. Wanting her excitement to be contagious, she smiled and added with prep, "A better one."

"With daddy?" the girl exclaimed, her green eyes glimmering with bliss.

Jane's heart clenched. There was no running from the things she'd done, not when they haunted her dreams, not when they shared her living.

Dejectedly, Jane explained, "No, not with daddy, just you and I."

Evie nodded, pensive. Jane could see the girl was holding something back, but she chose to let it go. Jane laid her cheek, over the brunette's head, her arms snaked around was a discussion for another time.

She couldn't lie right now; she couldn't lie to her daughter.

A few seconds passed before Evie continued, "And with the FBI?" Jane raised her head, looking at her daughter who trailed on, "Shepard said…"

The four year old stopped talking, her gaze eying the floor.

"What did Shepard say?" inquired Jane, skeptical.

Evelyne shrugged her shoulders, "Nothing," she answered climbing off her mother's lap.

"Evelyne," Jane commanded, as the girl walked away.

"She said _nothing_ ," affirmed Evie, stomping her feet.

Jane sighed as her cellphone started ringing, taking a breath before answering, "Hey, Patterson."

At the sound of the name, Evie's eyes lit up, the previous conversation seemingly forgotten, and she came skipping back to the couch, sitting beside her mother calmly and crossing her hands over her lap.

"Am I waking you up?" the blond asked, on the other end of the line.

"No we're up," confirmed Jane, giving her daughter a gentle shoulder bump, making her loose her balance and laugh, her small body wiggling on the couch. "What can I do for you?" she asked.

"I've got the results, can you come in?"

"Sure, we'll come in," she confirmed before hanging up the phone.

Twice at the FBI in one day. Hardly no sleep. Life was asking a lot from her.

Evie jumped off the couch, "I really like Patterson. She's nice," she sung. Her hands resting on the coffee table, she jumped up and down, grinning.

"You're right, she's nice," Jane smiled; an eyebrow arched at the girls antics.

"She played with me. We're friends," stated the girl proudly, once she'd stopped moving.

"Oh yeah, and was your friend nice enough to tell you her name?"

Evie nodded.

"So, what is it?" laughed the tattooed woman.

Evie shook her head, looking down.

"What?" Jane asked.

"I'm not blabbing. A secret is for keeping, mama, not for saying," said the child as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Jane shook her head, "I can't believe she told you. She just met you."

The four year old brought her index to her lips, tapping as she thought it through. "Cause I'm her best _bud_ ," concluded the girl. "And she says I'm cute."

Jane couldn't help the grin creeping on her face. "That you are," she confirmed. Winking in her daughter's direction she added, "Wonder who you take after."

Evie shrugged her shoulders, pouting, and Jane laughed, her arms extending towards her. Wiggling her fingers in warning, Evie ran away bursting out with laughter, as Jane followed suit, trying to catch her.

How easy life would be if they could simply run away from everything else.

* * *

Jane met up with Weller and Patterson, Evie in tow. The greetings remained icy before they all sat down at the conference room table. Jane pulled up a chair for her daughter, who climbed on, as the other two agents sat across from them.

Patterson slid a file over to Kurt and started, "Kurt, I know you wanted this to be thorough. So, I tested this three times with three different samples which I sampled personally. All the tests were run by my team and I and all the data I ran went through an independent ghost server which would have been impossible to hack."

Jane nodded, her eyes widening, impressed.

The corner of Patterson's lips formed a smile, "Yup, that's how I roll."

Kurt shook his head, "Results, Patterson, please."

Her fingers shot up, "Oh, yeah, results." She opened the file and stated, pointing a graph, "All the tests came back positive, they're a match."

Kurt nodded, bringing the folder closer to him to have a better look at the findings.

Jane stood up, pulling Evie's chair, "Thanks, Patterson."

Kurt got up, quickly adding, "It doesn't mean that I'm not right."

"It actually does," the tattooed woman calmly answered.

Kurt turned to the blond, "Patterson, can you take the girl outside, please."

Patterson nodded, as she grabbed Evie's hand and led her outside.

Once the door closed behind them, Kurt added, "The timing makes no sense, Jane, and you know it."

Jane just looked at him, trying not to glare, "I could give you a tooth, but even if Patterson does an isotopic test on it, they wouldn't make any sense. She still wouldn't be my daughter, right?"

"Stop."

"Patterson told me about the tooth, Weller. You knew I couldn't be Taylor. You knew, and you let me believe that I was."

"I wanted you to be Taylor," he added.

Jane shook her head as she looked away.

"I wanted it more than anything, and they knew it," he continued.

"You let me believe it, Kurt. You knew!"

"I know, but Jane, they're playing you. You have to see that."

Jane exhaled loudly before stating, "Look Weller. I'm going to complete my end of the deal. I'll help you take down Sandstorm, but she stays out of it. You can think whatever you want, but she's _my_ daughter, and I won't let anything happen to her. We're done here. I'll be back on Monday."

And before anything else could be said, Jane walked away, letting the glass door close behind her with a bang.

* * *

 **I hope you guys are still enjoying this. I love reading your comments, ideas and impressions!**

 **I also take back what I said last time, fallfromreality is a lot more than awesome, and she's been a lot of help here.**


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